I have a bunch of things in my apartment that I can’t take with me so I’m offering them to you. If something on the list interests you then please either call or txt 010-5702-6003 or email me.
I’ve decided to risk my chances of ever working as a copywriter again by putting the call to action at the start and then writing some poor quality blurbs about the items. I was even going to use the cliché “It’s my birthday, but you get the presents”, but I decided that I still want presents.
Potato peeler. Can also be used for other vegetables, fruits and scraping gum off your shoes. It has never been used for that last one. Promise. $0.00.
Stainless steel bowl. This bowl is not only great for holding things, but when you put some water in it, flick the side with your finger and swirl it around, it makes a cool sound. Dinner time has never been so musical. It’s going for a song: $0.00
Very basic sandwich toaster. Two sides clamp together and it sits over the gas. One hinge is broken but you can still melt some cheese between some bread with it. Mmm. $0000000.0000. SOLD
Brilliantly big breakfast bowl. Alliteration says it all. The price? … Fantastically freakin’ free.
Two small sieves. One is normal, the other one is a bit strange. I’m not sure how to use the strange one or exactly why I bought it. Add some strangery to your kitchen for the strange price of $a(d*&o%.
Some tupperware. Not the actual brand, but these small containers are still good for holding things. Lid technology prevents said things from spilling out. The only thing they won’t contain is your excitement at the price! $0.00!
4x glass tumblers. Living by myself meant that most of the time I just drank stuff straight from the bottle, but if you’re the civilised type then grab these with both hands. I said both hands! If you don’t use both hands then you’ll have to use the plastic cup. Childhood flashbacks. Get your hands on ’em for nothing.
2 x large wine glasses. Technically these are wine glasses but they are qualified to hold most liquids. No reason to whine about the price either: $0.00. SOLD
Dead pot plants. These have served as a great reminder as to why I shouldn’t own a living pet. They can be your reminders for $3, but pending a parole board hearing I’ll give you a reduction for good behaviour, $0.00.
2 x plastic plants. One is yellow, the other is purple. They come as a pair. If you separate them they’ll pine for each other. They’re sure to brighten up any room with their vibrant colours and winning personalities. Your companions for just two easy payments of $0.00
Cheongju’s pink rubbish bags. Several. Pre-paid for rubbish collection, but can also be cut down either side and tucked in to the back of your top and worn as a pink cape. Be a superhero for a super price: $0.00. SOLD
Why did the ocean blush?… Because the sea-weed! You’ll blush too when your friends find out you got a large box of laver (dried seaweed) for FREE.
Salt, mixed herbs, pepper, cinnamon, parsley, Rosemary and Basil. Rosemary and Basil are herbs, not people, I just gave them capital letters because I can use CAPS wherEveR I liKe. StoP tryIng to keEp me Down! PriCe? FREE. SOLD
Medicine Cabinet Mystery Box. A random collection of expired medicines and creams. I take no responsibility for any side effects should you choose to use these. If symptoms persist or worsen then we have never met, ok? No money involved in this drug deal, $0.00.
Tesco toilet cleaner. Citrus flavour. You’ll wee with excitement at the bargain here… $0.00.
Scrubbing brush for cleaning the tiles. Can also be used vertically to scrub walls provided necessary council consents are obtained. Price, not including consents, $0.00. SOLD.
Bathroom slippers. A size smaller than whatever size I am. They have ‘Booby’ written on them so great comedy value. Have a laugh while you curse the fact that Korean showers make your floor wet and force you to wear these annoying things. You can’t put a price on comedy, $0.00.
Stationery items: scissors, pens, tape, glue, brown paint. I recommend gluing all of the things together and then painting it brown before selling it as art. Profit to be made here all with the simple investment of $0.00.
Speakers. Plug your mp3 player straight in to these and sound comes out. These would blow a caveman’s mind, but in present day these ones pretty much just blow. They’re still better than internal laptop speakers though. Listen to this bargain… $0.00. SOLD.
Lonely Planet Korean phrase book. I bought this copy in Seoul and have used it a few times to look up a word in Korean that I have then mispronounced and then instantly forgotten. I’ve also forgotten the price so you can have it for $0.00. SOLD
Bicycle. If you’re looking for a bike then please contact me for more about it, test rides and fuel economy data. It currently has a flat tyre, so I will consider cutting in half and selling it as a unicycle. 50,000 won for the bike or 25, 000 each for a unicycle. SOLD